You know what you want, even if you won’t admit it

June 2, 2013

For the longest time, I wouldn’t admit that I wanted to become an author.

No, that’s not it – I knew I wanted to become an author, but I wouldn’t admit that was all I wanted to become. I kept looking for other jobs, figuring that I should advance in my other career while I saw if this writing thing would work out. I kept working on Plan B and Plan C, at the expense of Plan A. I didn’t go all in.

What I learned was that the heart often knows what you really want long before your mind is ready to admit it. I pursued other jobs, but the least setback would make me abandon them, because I didn’t really care. I was halfhearted, unable to push myself because, no matter how much the logical me thought I should, the rest of me didn’t care. In my very core I wanted to become an author. All else was a distraction.

It’s a cliche to say “follow your heart”, so I won’t. I’m quite fond of the brain, and follow it often. It’s when your heart keeps getting in the way of your mind that you should take a step back. That’s the you that “civilized” society has tried to bury sitting up and demanding your attention. Maybe you should listen to it.